How to Pay for a Baby Langauge Analysis

‘How to Pay for a Baby’ is a online article published by Kool A.D who wants inform and advise new couples about how to pay up for a baby. He claims that we should avoid getting a baby because it is a bad idea, in his article he informs us that the couple would go broke due to the baby. He explains that babies are “money pits” and paying up for the their needs, and the only way to continue paying for the baby is to have deep pockets. In every paragraph, Kool A.D addresses his readers on different topics on how if you already have a baby, that we should keep it simple with them and not spend too much on baby’s needs such as toys since they are expensive. Also, the baby will end up breaking it and all that money spent will go into waste. Kool A.D uses Sociolect, Colloquialism, Slang, Regional Dialect and a comedic type of tone in his article on ‘How to Pay Up for a Baby’. He starts his article with the use of Colloquialism by stating “I’mma keep it 100 with ya’ll”, this tells the readers that Kool will be truthful with his readers. An example of Sociolect and some Slang is when Kool A.D states “I’m doing this column for the yaper. Babies are wild expensive, and as they grow into full-fledged dudes and dudettes with wants and desires and susceptibilities to advertising tactics, they only become more expensive.” He used the slang “Dudes” as in the male gender and “Dudettes” as in the female gender.

Kool A.D also informs us that if a couple has a baby already, they’re “Bad at planning ahead” and that now with a baby the couple will tell themselves in regret “maybe I shouldn’t have baby”, “But too late doggie, you're in thick of it now, and that means you should get your yapper up.” He uses his Regional Dialect and use of Slang words to write his column. Overall, Kool A.D uses humor to create a bond between him and his readers. For example, in his final paragraph he states that a person who doesn’t have deep pockets should not sweat it and start stacking up, he states “If you’re not already stacked, don’t sweat it--when you have a kid the hustle sector of your brain expands. Rob a bank, become a professional gambler, learn to code, become a B-list rapper, write a parenting column.”

Kool A.D gives his readers examples on what to do to gather up their “yaper” and if we have a baby, he states that we should stop wasting it by using Internet and Modern day trends such as to “Stop binge-ordering Jordans off the internet” and “hooride your sisters netflix account more”. With these examples, we can see that Kool uses tons of Slang and Regional Dialect in his text.  

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